


What If . . . ?

by mresundance



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-06
Updated: 2010-09-06
Packaged: 2017-10-11 13:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mresundance/pseuds/mresundance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slightly AU. A traveling salesman, a flight attendant and deja vou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If . . . ?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: not mine, not for profit.

**What If . . .**

. . . in his next life, Boromir was reincarnated into the modern world as Carl the flight attendant. His self-proclaimed goal is to get shagged rotten as many times as possible on a trip. He flits from row to row, eyeballing potentials. When he finds one, the cart is rolled out, and the question is asked: "Candy? Drinks? Peanuts? Blow job?"

Then, inevitably, Aragorn would be reborn into the modern day as Jack the traveling salesman. He likes to go around the world and sell rare and collectible dildos (eg, the special deluxe Bilbo Dildo).

As fate would have it, one day Jack/Aragorn has just settled in for his flight - the plane has yet to take off, though it's prowling up the runway slowly. Jack/Aragorn hears something and looks up.

The flight attendant stutters: "B-blow - "

They attack each other in plan view of everyone. Mad man ravaging as the plane takes off into the wild blue younder. They plunder each other senseless, breaking all the world's Mile High Club records in one go.

Of course, Carl/Boromir is fired for breaking some FAA code written in point 5 font on the margin of page 1,277 of the rule-book about not "boarding passengers" during a flight. But, what the fuck (and that is exactly what they did), they don't care. Their flight landed in Vegas. When not boinking the brains out of each other, they wander around the town. They eventually get picked up by some guy with fancy sunglasses saying "You look a lot like those Lord of the Rings guys," who hires them on the spot.

Carl/Boromir and Jack/Aragorn live out the rest of this life playing their past selves at swhank Vegas hotel/attraction called "Minas Tirith".

And they live happily ever after, even if every time they do Boromir's death scene the deja vou is just a little too weird.


End file.
